Tuesday May 26th

Went back for another session with my LP coach today :) She thinks my brain patterns are really stuck compared to many other people, so is happy to offer me more sessions :D

Was really good...we worked on my perfectionist patterns that seem to be holding me back a bit...and changed some bits of the LP, practising it in different situations. Then we did some hypnotherapy to try and work out where the perfectionism came from...as Gill thinks this is one of the main causes of my M.E.

Came out feeling amazing (this was about 5pm) and still feel amazing now (about 10pm) :D yay!!! maybe this time I've got it right!

Having a really good half term too...went to a friends BBQ sunday and to a friends to watch TV and eat ice cream yesterday :D

Will keep you updated

Rosie
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Sunday May 17th

Somethings definitely changed this weekend-I got through a half day of music college with a smile on my face, and didnt feel too bad afterwards! Usually I'd have fallen asleep on the train and woken up feeling awful...but I was fine :O Today I wasnt as brain fogged as usal, and managed to get a load of revision done for G.C.S.Es...I'm so scared!!! Had to use the LP a couple of times yesterday when first on the train as I began to feel the M.E tiredness setting in...and today during a walk down to my favourite field in the sun...but otherwise things have been good :D

Its feeling more like a natural brain pattern now, and less like something I have to try to do. Even if it doesn't cure me from M.E....its definitely helped to some extent, along with making me a generally more cheerful person. I have high hopes for a recovery over the summer holidays though! Have gone from about 70% to around 75%/80%....am improvement which I'm understandably chuffed with!

Am needing a bit more input with the process though, so am having a couple more lessons with my coach in the may half term. She's been so lovely and I'm so pleased that she's happy to help with this extra input.

Will write soon :)
Any feedback on good things about my blog/stuff you'd like me to include is welcome- rosiehelen@hotmail.co.uk

Rosie xxxxxxxxxxxxx

May 13th 2009

Sorry its been a while since I've written! Am struggling along with the LP...had started to notice some positive changes though :D I spoke to Gill on the phone yesterday...she gave me lots of help with the process again...and tried to explain to me how to cope through exams. Understandably exams have not been helpful when trying to stop an adrenaline cycle...and I've therefore found that my improvements seem to have come to a standstill. However this is probably because I've been overworking myself...and as soon as G.C.S.Es are over I will return to trying the lightning process, as I do believe it was having a positive effect on my health. Its a shame that G.C.S.Es are getting in the way!!
Good luck to anyone out there also trying the LP.
I'm off to revise! :D
Rosie
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8 days after LP

Yesterday I went back to see Gill for a follow up :) It was really helpful...we discovered that I've actually been introducing stress and adrenaline into the lightning process, by saying "stop" in a stressfull way and getting impatient with myself...so I must stop this =) She's also doing some hypnotherapy to work on some situations that I've been getting really stuck in! Found out that the man who did the LP with me thinks he's completely better now....and the woman who's been in a wheelchair for two years is walking and gardening...and has even been on her husband's exercise bike! Wow :O
So if they can do it using the LP then so can I! I'm going to need a bit more help than them, but its different for everyone.

Felt so much better and more confident after this session, walked up the hill from the train station, and went for another walk in the evening :) LP is much more enjoyable now.

Today I really struggled though. It seems harder in the mornings...and as I'm currently at school for 3/4 days I cant really do the LP apart from silently in my head...which is no-where near as powerful. Got home after school and got quite deeply into "the pit;" as I hadnt been able to do LP all day and M.E fatigue had me strong. However about half an hour later I picked myself up and used the LP to get myself back on track-something which im really proud of :) Went for a 15 minute walk in the rain with my dad, to prove to myself that I could do it :)!

So I'm working on it...its slow progress but Im getting so much better and I've just got to find a way to apply the process even when at school. I've seen the power of the process-every time I walk into Gill's house I've felt awful and come out feeling so much better...now I've just got to learn how to apply it consistently at home on my own.

Until tomorrow
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Rosie :)

Ps. Emails and Questions are still welcome: rosiehelen@hotmail.co.uk. Similarly if anyone who's done LP successfully has any advice I'd love to hear from you! xxxxxxxxxx

5 days after LP

What an emotional day! Felt pretty low and rough for most of this morning, and had to really work hard at the process at around lunchtime...as I realised that "the pit" had me really strong!

But managed to summon the strength to go shopping...and mum and I went shopping for about an hour and a half, which using the LP, I really enjoyed :D got some new clothes too :) Then I came home and taught a flute lesson....and for the first time EVER I was able to concentrate on the lesson and not worry about fatigue etc :D! After this did LP practise again with my dad, working on the things that got me stuck this morning...and then went fully energised for a 20 minute walk! Am still awake now :D

Lets hope this continues :D

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Rosie

Ps. If anyone wants to ask more questions about the LP or just wants to chat....my msn is rosiehelen@hotmail.co.uk
:)

4 days after LP

Yesterday I had music college, which is usually a huge huge struggle and leaves me feeling awful! I cant say it was easy to apply the Lightning Process, but it did make it slightly better to get through the day. I managed to focuss on my music lessons more :) Will keep practising the Lightning Process! I dont think I've been using it very consistently, so havent seen any major changes...however I WONT give up!

Today I was at home all day, so had time to work on the process about 70 to 80 times. Dad's been helping make sure I wont give up and I did it quite sucessfully to get rid of the brain fog as a result of being so busy yesterday. Have noticed that for the last few days my digestive system's been working better (yes you really did want to know that :P!) Managed to go for two short 15 minute walks, and did a 30 second run just to prove to myself that something was changing. I've noticed I've been a lot happier after the LP!

To anyone out there reading this blog and thinking of trying the Lightning Process...you've GOT to be committed! It is hugely hard work, and you've got to believe in it 100% I've got upset a number of times and wanted to give up, but I wont! I'm sure I'm on to something here, that will eventually let me recover from M.E!

Pretty tired now so will write again tomorrow....

Rosie xxxxxxxx

2 days after LP

Sorry I didnt post yesterday...didnt have much to tell you :) Today I did a full day at school :O! It wasnt by choice, but I had ICT Coursework which I absolutely had to finish by the end of today or I wouldn't get entered for the exam, so I had to spend extra time in school. Was surprised that I didnt actually feel too awful, though almost collapsed when I got home! Must remember not to do too much too soon!
Rosie xxxxxxxxxxx

LP Day 3

On the last day of LP, it was a one to one session. I was pretty nervous to be with the coach on my own....but when I got to her house it was fine :) We ran through all of the things we'd learnt as a group, and she asked me for my specific problems. I was having trouble at the choice stage, and with the films and we talked through this, which really helped! She also suggested I smile more =p! At the end I recieved a CD by Phil Parker, and a little yellow rubber duck (you have to have done LP to understand!) Was sad to leave...but felt strangely relaxed and confident. I've got a follow up next week, until then I'm on my own.
Rosie
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LP Day 2

Have been trying to apply the lightning process since the session yesterday, and I cant say it was easy! Woke up and had my usual worries ("I'm so tired" "I'm not going to get through the day" "I'm never going to get better" etc) and had to use all my strength to use the LP and overcome them. Went to school and did my GCSE French Oral (it was pretty scary but not too bad.) At school I noticed many negative thought processess. The hardest one to overcome was getting frustrated about the "spaced out feeling" that I get around lots of people. Had to try SO hard to use LP to overcome this...and it actually worked!

When I arrived at the LP session everyone was excited about people's progress. The woman had managed to climb the stairs for the first time in 2 years, the man had gone for a five minute jog and not worried about M.E, the girl had concentrated on a conversation with her mum for half an hour, and I'd actually enjoyed a 5 minute ride on my bike. :) We were then taught the advanced parts of the lightning process (positive films) and this really helped me. I explained my problems to the coach, who helped me out and explained where I was going wrong.

By the end of this session I can honestly say I was the most calm, relaxed and happy that I've been in years! I went to my piano lesson this evening with a smile on my face, and although I felt the M.E tiredness towards the end, managed to get through it using the LP.

I'm aware that this is going to be such hard work, without saying the words of the process out loud I find it difficult at the moment. But I'm learning....and am sure that if I persevere then I'll get the results I want; an M.E free life! :)

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LP Day 1

Well today was the day :) Went for a lesson of school this morning, and then headed off to Bath to try the Lightning Process. Was pretty nervous, and by the time I arrived at the surgery was almost wishing I hadn't decided to come-I was so scared! Also sitting in the surgery was a man who looked about 20/30, a woman who looked about 40 and a young girl of about 20. They all looked pretty nervous too-which calmed me down a bit.

Finally the woman (Gill,) let us into the room, where she began to explain about the LP. She used many interesting exercises and examples to explain to us how the brain works, and later moved on to explain how we've got stuck into a circle of having M.E. We were encouraged to use the words "doing M.E" as this makes it seem as though we have the power to stop doing it. It's based on having a constant production of adrenaline, as if in the "fight or flight situation." Our bodies are designed to cope with this mass production of adrenaline for a couple of minutes, but if you start producing it almost 24 hours a day it suppresses the digestive system and immune system, and stops the brain working properly.
I was pretty much convinced after all this explaination that the LP was going to work for me :)

We then moved onto the cycle that forms the actual lightning process. Its very difficult to explain in words, but basically if you have a negative or worrying thought, you stop it before it can produce anxiety/adrenalin. Once you've stopped it then you congratulate yourself, and choose to "move on," rather than spend time worrying about it. Gill helped us practise this, and although I was sceptical, after only about 30 minutes of applying this process to my thoughts, I noticed my sore throat and headache had gone, and that my glands in my neck were definitely less swollen. One of the people doing the LP with me had come into the room barely able to stand, and now she could walk across the room! How amazing!!

Anyway I'll be applying the LP to everything I do between now and tomorrows session, and although its hard work, have high hopes for the future :)

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Day Before the LP

Well the lightning process is tomorrow, and I'm not sure whether to be excited or scared! :)

Health wise I'm feeling mentally and physically drained; have spent the whole week and weekend trying desperatly to complete coursework for final deadlines, which has put me under a lot of pressure! I also have my GCSE French Oral on tuesday :S Understandably this has increased the headaches, brain fog, aching lymph nodes etc.....so am relying on the lightning process to help me out. I've had enough of this stupid illness!

Anyway, from now on i'll be posting daily, so hopefully you can see what the lightning process was like, and what effect it had on me :)

Bring on tomorrow......
Rosie xxx

About Me

My name is Rosie, I'm 15 and live in Wiltshire, UK. I've had M.E for roughly 2 1/2 years now, and am roughly 75% on the ability scale at present, although I seem to have become quite stuck at this level and haven't made any progress for a while :(! I attend school for 3/4 days, but am unable to do anything after school other than rest. This means I have very little time with my friends. I am also a very keen musician, who plays the flute at national level, along with violin and piano, although due to this illness I have had very little time to practise or take part in orchestras.

The main problems that I suffer from are severe fatigue, muscle aches, a "spaced out feeling" which really winds me up, headaches and a very low self confidence due to all of this.

After trying many other therapies and following a pacing programme for the last 6 months, any improvment has been minimal. I have therefore been inspired to take part in the lightning process by Ricky/Hiijinx, and other testimonials from friends and family.

I have been booked in for the three day course staring on Tuesday 28th April in Bath and am really hopeful that it will have a positive effect on my health, despite all of the negative comments that many members of AYME have had about it.

This blog is here so I and others can hopefully see me regain my health, and if that is so, to inspire others to take part in the Lightning Process.

:)